Oliphant Quest Day 5: The New High
Today was a day of reckoning. I passed the test and have come over the mountain which was the first half of the year. There is a certain sense of clarity I now possess for what the journey ahead is going to look like and not to have false expectation about the glory earned afterwards either. But today came with a stark realization which I had right before sitting down to write this.
I have a new kind of high.
Reality as I know it is pretty much fixed from here on out. It is just hooking myself onto a new thing which is going to have the greatest impact on the life I live long term.
So now instead of attaching my highs to alcohol, sex, drugs, videos, fast food, etc. I take my highs from cleaning my room, going to the gym, and doing some hard work and learning and studying. It’s a new realm I am in but this is the next steps in my life. This is the next journey I have to go on. And although the superficial highs are still there and the resources to give me a quick burst of joy are still at my fingertips or a quick Google search away, I dont really want them.
There are new potentials to this high which can never be experienced by those other methods of existence. A 2 day- 2 month high received from acing an exam is unattainable through any chemical means. And the 90 days spent studying day and night for that high are worth the effort, rather than the few hours it takes to talk to a dealer and pick up “the goods”.
This is new and fucking insane, to say the least. So now I am going to clean my room, schedule out my day tomorrow, shave my head, take a long shower, and work on a few assignments. AHHH>