What I Finally Came To
As I was spending the day cooped up in my room contemplating the meaning of existence and thinking about the true nature of reality, and I saw the wave coming for me. The all too familiar wave of sadness which washes over us soulless wanderers as we journey through the infinite emptiness of reality.
The empty fields which feel full until you evaporate into them.
So I sat there saw the wave coming. I was familiar with this wave. It didn’t scare me anymore. I wasn’t scared of where it would take me or where I would end up. No realization or ideas could pull me away from this world or the destiny laid out for me. I would be fine, so I did something different.
I rode the wave. Surfing onwards.
With all the previous waves I ran away because everyone else around me was doing the same thing. At a dark point, I did something different and decided to stand in front of it. I gave it a chance to drown me. And when it didn’t kill me, I tried to myself. But even at that I failed. I stood up every time I fell. Every wave that knocked me down I learned, I discovered. I added to my repertoire of strengths.
It’s been almost 7 years of getting hit by waves and I come to a new stage. I ride the fucking wave.
When the stiff dick don’t fit you squeeze it in.
Let the waves hit you friends and after years of getting hit, you may finally realize the truth of the world. When you do, you no longer fear anything. Eventually, the pummeling of the waves is blunted. The bruises fade. The cuts scar over. The scars turn into scales. Then you ride.
It’s a process. More of a flower blooming than a “path” for the life you’ve imagined.